EDITORIAL When sex is the topic, ignorance is hardly bliss
In "Shadowlands," the biographical movie about the writer C.S.
Lewis, there is a scene at an Oxford college reception. Joy, Lewis' American
wife-to-be, is enduring a condescending assessment from a snooty Oxford
don.
Finally she says, "Are you trying to be offensive or just merely
stupid?"
The same question might be put to the Vatican over recent
pronouncements on a topic about which it professes to know much and understands
nothing: marital sex.
The Vatican recently allowed as how divorced and remarried
Catholics might be admitted as fully participating members of the church as
long as they abstain from sexual activity. Isn't that nice?
This breakthrough in misguided pastoral concern and sympathy is
now followed by the announcement that priests should show more understanding of
married Catholics in the confessional (see page 11).
In an admonition to confessors that sounds like "don't ask --
don't tell," the latest Vatican decree suggests that Catholic couples -- except
those inquisitioned by the superscrupulous confessor -- can take solace in
conscience or, as the Vatican prefers it, in "invincible ignorance."
As pastorally generous as that might sound, the Vatican in fact
upped the ante on the matter by referring to the teaching as "definitive and
irreformable," the heavy-guns phrase that is increasingly being thrown around
in Rome these days.
The pastoral concern voiced in the latest pronouncements is the
Vatican's version of "we feel your pain." In the case of remarried, divorced
Catholics as with the birth control matter, Rome flaunts an ignorance that is
breathtaking. The Vatican created the problem it seeks to redress but still
can't admit its error.
Pope Paul VI's 1968 encyclical, Humanae Vitae, which
continued the papal ban on artificial contraception, came at a time when
scholarship on human sexuality was unveiling much that was cleansing and
wholesome about who we are sexually. This ran smack into the Vatican
sexmeisters' Jansenistic approach that suggests that everything we are sexually
is reprehensible.
With Humanae Vitae the church's leadership again placed all
sexual activity between men and women at one level: the street level.
By failing to allow -- encourage would have been too much to
expect -- Catholic couples to choose whichever form of contraception suited
them, or none, the Vatican failed to recognize sexual activity within marriage
as holy.
Despite some clever distinctions, the effect was that the Vatican
lumped together all sexual activity.
Married people in conscience have largely ignored the Vatican, a
trend the Vatican has been forced to recognize as growing worldwide. The
Vatican has created and perpetuates a situation sufficiently horrendous that
most Western Catholic couples approaching the altar have to fudge the
contraception question in order to be married in the church. What a start that
is to a sacraments-oriented married life.
The Vatican's pleas and proscriptions are like the urgings of a
midwife who has never experienced childbirth. When it comes to pain or
happiness, observation is one thing but experience is another.
Experience brings to the marriage the one factor that separates
Vatican officials from married Catholics. The title of one of C.S. Lewis' books
offers a clue: Surprised by Joy. While the Vatican starting point with
married sexual activity -- procreation to one side for a moment -- is still
sin, for married couples it is still joy.
Not to belabor the point -- but by definition, if the Vatican's
celibate men experience sexual activity, it is a sin. Not much joy there.
The Vatican's unmarried males who are the final-word authorities
on sexual activity not only have a lopsided view of the subject; they have no
experience of an intimacy that is wholesome, bonding, forgiving, sharing,
romantic, mutual. There is no sign of joy. A batch of married Vatican officials
would indeed be surprised by joy. They would soon discover what normal Catholic
couples discover: that sexual activity is one essential component of the
lasting joy that marriage brings.
The Vatican just doesn't understand.
Married sexual love isn't a calendar thing. It isn't even just a
sexual thing. It's a love thing.
The Vatican speaks the love words but, frankly, it still doesn't
know what it's talking about.
National Catholic Reporter, March 14,
1997
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