Spirituality Henri Nouwen
By ED WOJCICKI
A simple wooden bench sits a few
feet from Henri J.M. Nouwens grave. Etched onto the bench are a series of
drawings created by Nouwens friends at Daybreak, the LArche
community on the outskirts of Toronto where Nouwen lived the last decade of his
life with mentally handicapped people.
Those etchings replicate pictures originally drawn to decorate
Nouwens casket. Those Daybreak residents also created the bench itself in
The Woodery, their community woodshop.
Nouwen is buried not in a prominent cemetery, but in the corner of
Sacred Heart Cemetery north of Toronto, a tiny rural cemetery about the size of
an urban dwellers plot of ground. The gravesite is not fancy. In addition
to the single bench, it has a small cross marker, tastefully crafted, and lots
of flowers, especially sunflowers, which Nouwen loved. Its as if large
crowds are never expected, but individuals or small groups are always more than
welcome.
A Daybreak resident named Bill proudly showed us his drawing on
the bench. Then he sat on the bench for awhile, socializing quietly with a
small group that visited the gravesite on a balmy September Saturday, two days
before the second anniversary of Nouwens death.
Then, during an informal ceremony and prayer service, each person
placed a flower on the grave and softly expressed gratitude for Henris
influence on their lives. Bill did, too. I dont remember what Bill said,
but I do remember that he wept. He wept not long, but vigorously. He called
Henri his friend and said he missed him.
Words were woefully insufficient throughout that September
weekend. About 50 of Henri J.M. Nouwens friends and admirers gathered in
Toronto to reflect on Nouwens writings, spirituality and relationships.
They reminisced. They swapped stories. They visited the grave. In group
discussions, they used common nouns and adjectives to describe Nouwens
impact on their lives: courageous, intense, friend, boundless, broken.
What became clear was that Nouwen was far more than the sum of
what several dozen words and a few stories could only begin to describe. Far
more powerful during the retreat was the community experience of hearts
speaking to hearts, where Nouwens influence remains profoundly alive in
intensely personal ways among his friends.
That retreat publicly launched the new Henri Nouwen Society, which
hopes to spread around the world the spirituality that Nouwen wrote about and
struggled with. Because of Nouwens sensitive exploration of his own
sometimes joyful, sometimes troubled heart, the society has taken a sound
reality check. It understands that any attempt to spread Nouwens great
legacy would lose its punch if people idolize him and overlook his human
weaknesses, loneliness and brokenness.
A year before his death, for example, Nouwen wrote in his journal
about an inner wound that is so easily touched and starts bleeding again.
It is such a familiar wound. It has been with me for many years. I dont
think this wound -- this immense need for affection, and the immense fear of
rejection -- will ever go away.
Such honest reflections are included in a new book called
Sabbatical Journey: The Diary of His Final Year. Nouwen was a priest and
psychologist from Holland who taught at Notre Dame, Harvard and Yale, became an
internationally known speaker and wrote more than 30 books, including With
Open Hands, The Wounded Healer and The Return of the Prodigal Son.
Daybreak community members participated with Nouwens other
friends at the retreat. Much of their sharing was inspirational and serious,
but some was funny. When one speaker mentioned that Henri had the incorrigible
habit of slamming doors while a guest at his house, Bill spontaneously said
from his place in the audience that Henri was the same way at Daybreak, always
slamming doors. Everyone laughed. That was the same Bill who wept at
Henris grave, perhaps with fond memories of traveling with Henri.
Nouwen often insisted on taking Daybreak community members with
him on his speaking engagements. He understood that audiences might forget what
he said, but he believed they could not forget the visible symbol of community
created by sharing the podium with his friend Bill, who cannot read but who,
Henri said, kept him honest.
Other people need to be part of a community that knew
Henri, says Wendy Greer, president of the Henri Nouwen Society.
Henri left a legacy thats rich, and it multiplies as we share it.
This rich legacy is not ours to keep. Its ours to share, and the more we
share it, the more fruitful is his life.
The society likes to talk about fruitfulness because
Nouwen preached it is more important to be fruitful than successful or
productive -- more important to be a hopeful, compassionate person than a
relevant, powerful person in the eyes of the world.
In that spirit the fledgling society is developing. To give
definition to Nouwens life and writings, the society is focusing on three
of Henris favorite words: solitude, community and compassion.
The society will publish a newsletter and maintain contact with
people around the world. A board will encourage regional, national and
international gatherings of people to explore Nouwens spirituality and
promote fellowship.
The New York-based society is working closely with the Daybreak
community and the new Henri Nouwen Literary Centre in Richmond Hill, a suburb
of Toronto, where documents from the last decade of Nouwens life are
being cataloged and preserved. It is also supporting the expansion of the
archives known as the Henri Nouwen Collection at Yale University for use by
scholars, students and the general public. And soon the new organization will
invite people everywhere to become friends of the society and share
in its mission.
What is happening with Nouwen is comparable to the continuing
interest in Thomas Merton after the famous monk died in 1968. It is fitting
that Nouwen initially felt disappointed after his only personal meeting with
Merton more than three decades ago. In their informal visit, Nouwen later
wrote, Merton acted like a regular guy, and their conversation was ordinary,
not one for the ages. The much younger Nouwen felt cheated.
He later reflected, however, that Merton would be
horrified if he thought anyone would idolize him. Nouwen would be
equally appalled if the public admiration of his own work ever evolves into
anything close to a sanitized idolatry. For he not only wrote brilliantly and
helped so many people personally, but by his own admission, he also suffered
and felt deep anguish. He longed for deeper relationships with God and the
people around him, but never quite internalized what he thought he was
searching for.
So as the society named for him preserves his legacy, it has the
task of helping people accept that developing compassion includes the pain of
struggling with loneliness, and that the process of building community is never
really complete.
For more information, write the Henri Nouwen Society, P.O. Box
523, Ansonia Station, New York, NY 10023. A Web site about Nouwen, with links
to the Nouwen Collection in the Yale Archives and to remembrances of Nouwen and
his influence in peoples lives published in NCR in 1996, is available
from the Henri Nouwen Literary Centre in Richmond Hill. Find it at
www.hnlc.org.
Ed Wojcicki is publisher of Illinois Issues magazine in
Springfield, Ill., and author of A Crisis of Hope in the Modern World,
for which Nouwen wrote the foreword.
National Catholic Reporter, December 4,
1998
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