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Lent We love forgiveness, but are we so eager for a good
conscience
By DIRK DUNFEE
And baptism
now saves you -- not as a removal of
dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, thorough the
resurrection of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 3:21).
Which would you rather ask for?
Forgiveness or a good conscience? Were in the habit of asking for
forgiveness: We do so in the sacrament of reconciliation, and we do so as part
of every Mass. Many of us do so more frequently still, and the words,
Please forgive me, Lord pass easily from our lips, perhaps several
times a day, in or out of Lent. And we know that forgiveness is ours whenever
we ask with sincere hearts. Thats a good thing.
But what about a good conscience? For my part, I dont recall
ever asking specifically for a good conscience. Not in so many
words. What if I did ask for a strong conscience? Is a good or strong
conscience something I really want? Do I need the annoyance?
Theres a saying that I first learned as a novice in the
Society of Jesus, though its not unique to Jesuits: Its
easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission. Heres how it
applies in Jesuit life: If I want to do something I think Im unlikely to
get permission for, I can circumvent the issue, my superior and my vow of
obedience by neglecting -- conveniently -- to ask permission before I do
whatever it is I want to do, asking instead for forgiveness after Ive
done it. Something similar is going on with regard to conscience: to ask for a
good conscience is to ask for the tools I need to evaluate my actions before
the fact. Do I really want to do that? Do I really want to have to think about
things before I do them, or is it easier to rely on Gods promise of
forgiveness after the fact?
Think about it: Having a good conscience would make every shopping
trip an exercise in social justice and an assertion of my own responsibility as
a Christian citizen. Do I buy these grapes from Chile? Theyre cheap
because the men and women who picked them were paid next to nothing; meanwhile,
Chileans go without because growers can make more money shipping their produce
overseas. What about this coffee, grown on a plantation operated by a
multinational corporation? What about this shirt, sewn in Indonesia or
Mauritius by someone, perhaps a child, making pennies an hour in backbreaking
conditions? What about veal? Veal calves spend their short lives alone, in the
dark, chained in crates, unable to walk or even turn around. Do I eat meat at
all? The worlds hunger problems could be solved if the grain used to feed
animals raised for slaughter were used instead to feed people; the worlds
cattle consume enough food to meet the caloric needs of 8.7 billion people --
more than the Earths entire human population. The meat industry is
responsible for a large proportion of the destruction of the worlds rain
forests.
What about this Oriental rug, hand-knotted in India by a child
laborer? That big, hulking, utterly seductive gas-guzzling sports utility
vehicle Ive had my eye on? And that five-bedroom house way out in the
suburbs? Our continuing flight to the suburbs has destroyed Americas
cities and is fast destroying the countryside with ugly, unchecked sprawl. What
an ordeal! Why, it seems that having a good conscience would require me to act
like Christ -- never a popular option, even among Christians. Is this what I
really want?
Forgiveness, it strikes me, is primarily for myself. It benefits
me; it may or may not have an effect on other people. A good conscience, on the
other hand, is for other people. They are the ones who will benefit from my
having a good conscience -- from my acting like Christ.
The First Letter of Peter speaks of baptism using language that is
at once familiar and surprising. It describes baptism not simply as the removal
of sin, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience. Thats
different: God wants me to have a healthy and active conscience. Whats
more, God wants me to use my conscience. Now, forgiveness is a great gift and a
grace I am happy to accept whether it comes from God or from another person. I
daresay thats true of all of us; we all look for forgiveness. Are we as
eager to accept the gift of a good conscience? Forgiveness is a gift we are
happy to live with. Are we as happy to live with the demands placed upon us by
a strong conscience? Can we freely give this gift to the world -- the gift of a
careful and deliberate Christian life, and a life lived for others?
Jesuit Fr. Dirk Dunfee is minister to the Jesuit community at
Rockhurst University in Kansas City, Mo.
National Catholic Reporter, March 10,
2000
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