Illuminations Simple relationships are key
By GERRY McCARTHY
Special to the National Catholic Reporter
Jean Vanier tells a group of almost
400 people whove gathered to hear him speak at a millennium festival for
young adults that he is jet-lagged. But that doesnt stop him from talking
about love, community, forgiveness and Christian marriage with vibrancy and
even humor.
Called A Journey of Hope, the festival was held in
Hunstville, Ontario, during the last weekend in May. It was organized by local
young adults, business people and clergy.
Vanier is Canadian, but hes lived in France since 1950. In
1964, he bought a house and invited two adults with developmental disabilities
to come and live with him. It turned out to be the first lArche community
(the English translation of lArche is Ark, after
Noahs Ark, meaning a place of refuge).
There are now 117 lArche communities in over 30 countries,
including 25 in Canada and 13 in the United States. The communities are rooted
in the Roman Catholic tradition, but theyve become a prophetic ecumenical
and interfaith network of faith communities that welcomes people with a
developmental disability.
After hes finished talking to the festival gathering,
Im able to speak with Vanier privately. He says hell need 20
minutes to rest. But in a few minutes hes up, sitting next to me, sipping
tea and ready to talk.
In his most recent book, Becoming Human, Vanier writes
about the Path to Freedom. He says some of us have more defense
mechanisms and barriers to overcome to find this freedom. I ask him if the
radical individualism and gotta-keep-up values of North American culture make
this a more daunting task today. I feel the freedom comes not through the
values of society. But it can come from the values of community, he says.
This means that we will have to make some heavy choices. Do we want to be
human? Or do we want to make a lot of money? It means we will have to accept
that we will never be promoted, because we are putting family and community and
commitment to the weak above money and promotion.
Vanier says Catholic parishes need to encourage people to make
these heavy choices. But he thinks parishioners arent hearing
this too much. He says people need to know that what is important isnt
apostolate. Whats important is that you be fully a human
being, he explains. That means family, community, openness to
others and commitment to and respect for the poor. This does not necessarily
mean doing big things. But in the parish, it means being present to that little
old lady who is alone.
For Vanier, the path to freedom is a whole inner movement of
seeing each person as a person. There can be a whole spirituality that is
not human, and we can flip out into it, he says. So how do we help
people to discover that the spirituality of Jesus is something quite simple?
Its about being human, loving people and accepting people that are
different. Its about building community and learning about forgiveness,
and about creating these centers of radiance, which is the parish.
Vanier says its unfortunate that many Catholic parishes are
becoming very busy places. In order to become human, we need to reach the
still point, he adds. We need to be quietly at prayer
together.
Parishes should continually be asking themselves what do we
want? says Vanier. Do we want promotion or do we want to be human?
Its a fundamental question, he explains. Its not just
spiritual advancement and believing in the Holy Catholic church, he says.
Its about believing in humanity. The Catholic church and the
Christian churches are there to help us become more human. And to be human is
to make clear options about those things that help me be a good father, a good
husband, a good wife, a good neighbor. To be welcoming and helping children
grow and not controlling them. To have fun with kids, and to create
celebrations within the parish and neighborhood that celebrate
people.
Vanier says making the world a more beautiful place is part of
becoming human. But I ask him why there is sometimes resistance, or even
outright anger, when principles of social justice are raised at the Catholic
parish level. He says its connected to fear.
Were all frightened of change, Vanier explains.
Once we have created our habits, once we have set a path of values that
we consider are the essential ones, then were frightened to change our
values and frightened to change our lives.
We all want security, Vanier says. But he believes we find that
security from inside, in the gift of the Holy Spirit and the gift of
Jesus, which is going to continually push us to change. Because that is what
Jesus wants: that were all working toward growth and change and for more
justice and peace.
In addition to lArche, Vanier is cofounder, with
Marie-Helene Mathieu, of Faith and Light, which brings together
people with disabilities, their parents and friends, for regular meetings.
There are now 1,300 Faith and Light communities in over 75
countries.
Vanier is also a prolific author. Some of his many books include:
Tears of Silence, An Ark for the Poor, Community and Growth, Our
Journey Home, The Scandal of Service, Be Not Afraid, and Becoming
Human, which was a bestseller in Canada last year.
Raised Catholic, Vanier was once a naval officer, and briefly
taught philosophy at St. Michaels College at the University of Toronto,
before he moved to France in 1964. His late father, Georges, was
governor-general of Canada from 1959 to 1967.
Vanier says working and living with disabled adults was a way for
him to put people first and enter into personal relationships. I joined
the navy when I was very young, just 13, a highly impressionable age, he
says. All my training was geared to help me to be quick, competent and
efficient, and so I became. As a naval officer, and even later, after I had
left the navy.
I was a rather stiff person, geared to goals of efficiency, duty,
prayer and doing good to others and to philosophical and theological studies.
My energies were goal-oriented. For Vanier, lArche continues to be
a learning experience. It has brought me into the world of simple
relationships, he explains. It has brought me back into my body,
because people with disabilities do not delight in intellectual or abstract
conversation.
In Becoming Human, he writes movingly about the
wisdom that comes from unexpected events like the death of a loved
one. Feelings of denial, anger, revolt and despair can gradually help us
to accept reality as it is and discover in the new situation new energies, a
new freedom, and a new meaning of life and of the world, Vanier
observes.
I tell Vanier about the sudden death of my own father three years
ago, and the terrible grief that followed. But I explain there was also an
enlivening of my heart. Our role as people who are aging, is to leave
behind a vision, a spirit. Then to disappear, he replies. If we
human beings have been able to just pass on a spirit, then we have accomplished
our mission. If I love that person, then I have to continue to live, to be the
person I am called to be. I must grow up. The danger with death is that we can
hold on to the nostalgia of death. We didnt want that person to die. So
we remain closed up in grief and loss, instead of seeing what that
persons gift was and what has been given to us and to give
thanks.
Vanier says its important to see death as part of the
movement of life. This is not to say there arent tragic
deaths, he explains. But death itself isnt
catastrophic.
Many people wish to speak with Vanier during the festival. There
is a television interview he must do in the afternoon. My time is running
short. I ask him what his feelings are when he reflects on the 117 lArche
communities that exist now, and the new ones expected to start in some Eastern
European countries. The first community lived a certain spirit, and other
people have caught on to that spirit, he says. So its not as
if Ive founded a community. Different people were moved by the same
spirit and felt called to live and work together. So what you see is Gods
work, and its important to be really conscious that this is not a human
endeavor.
A modest person, Vanier leans forward in his chair to make a final
point. All we can do is announce a vision, he says, and one
day someone will read what youve written and say thats what
Ive been looking for.
National Catholic Reporter, November 17,
2000
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