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Viewpoint Slim, selfish, its just not me
By GABRIÉLLA GUTIERREZ
Y MUHS
I wonder why I have become so
codependent on Sex and the City, a 3-year-old network series
nominated for many Emmy Awards about the sexual lives of four professional
women. I sit in front of the TV religiously on Sunday nights, next to my
husband of almost 15 years, to watch these four women have breakfast, lunch and
sex. What is it that I like about these selfish, overindulgent, slim,
well-dressed city dwellers in their mid-30s to early 40s, who sleep with a
different man almost every episode?
Nara Schoenberg, writer for the Chicago Tribune, states
that the series helped popularize and glamorize the problems of single
women in their 30s. I disagree that these are the general problems of
single women in their 30s, unless we continue to think of sex and profession
entirely deciding a womans mental state. There is, of course, no room for
spirituality in any of the four protagonists lives. Im not talking
about Sunday attendance and regular churchgoing or even crystal healing, but of
any type of spiritual seeking aside from getting a regular orgasm.
Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte and Carrie the main protagonists,
astound us with their open talks about experimental sexuality. Charlotte, the
shows stereotypical romantic after almost two seasons, is now
a married woman, giving up her profession as a museum curator. She married a
millionaire.
Miranda is a cynical lawyer who cannot commit to the only guy who
has treated her well, but continues to have sex with him. Samantha is the ideal
businesswoman in her early 40s who fights for the rights to her sexuality,
including, but not limited to, bisexuality, and parades a different lover or
two in every show. And Carrie Bradshaw is the protagonist writer who pens a
piece in the New York Observer titled Sex and the City, thus
the title of the series. Carrie has gone through being in love with
Big, a rich New York businessman who then marries and commits
adultery on his wife with Carrie, whom he is unable to marry or even live with.
Carrie runs through a series of bad boyfriends: alcoholics,
womanizers, asexuals, and finally meets Aidan, the perfect boyfriend, on whom
she cheats with Big while Big is still married.
In the last couple of years, anal sex, masturbation, vibrators,
adultery and so on have made an original and visual imprint on the viewers.
These women have committed every possible sin a woman could commit, except for
murder, and yet they act entitled, empowered and superior.
What is incredibly interesting is that even the feminist actresses
who portray the protagonists believe that the show is empowering to women. The
real purpose of the show is to hook viewers by tantalizing them with sexual
themes masked by the friendship theme of these four women in the
Big Apple. But, any woman with real humane and interesting professional women
as friends would not want anything to do with any of these four dysfunctional,
self-loathing women. Unfortunately, many young women adore the show because of
the friendship theme.
People watching the series are confused, I believe, about the real
message. In particular, I notice that women in their 20s want to imitate the
fashions and even the behavior of these mindless archetypal creatures living in
New York who supposedly exemplify the real liberated woman of the
new millennium. In reality, they merely make a caricature of the solitude of
women who have given up family and many other things for profession. Is the
glamour of owning a $400 pair of shoes something unique or superior? Are there
mantric moments in having to take a taxi across town every day, or in using
condoms at all times when you have sex because you dont know the name of
the man you are about to have sex with, maybe for the first and last time?
In an interview with Terri Gross on National Public Radio, actress
Sara Jessica Parker denied that the show is about four women going all
over New York looking for an orgasm. Yet why is it that questions such as
this one recur in conversations between the four: Havent we all had sex
with Danny? In my own life, I know no one like this, and I consider myself a
strong professional woman of the world.
My husband says, Well, who doesnt feel better about
their life after watching such awful individuals? He is right. We
Americans like to watch programs not because of the content so much as the
feelings they elicit in us. I like to watch Sex and the City for
the same reason that millions of Americans like to watch Oprah, Maury Povich
and other talk shows. These TV originals either make us feel morally superior
or just plain lucky, for not having a super-dysfunctional family, for not
having had an enormous tragedy of our own, or for not having walked in on our
husband having sex with the neighbor.
But this does not explain it all. Sex is only the trick to lure
millions of viewers the first time. America is hungry to watch professional
women living independent, successful lives in freedom, prosperity and
emancipation from all types of oppressions, and sharing their lives with people
other than men. Isnt that what our mothers, great aunts and grandmothers
used to do? No, they didnt have the high-paying jobs, or the fantastic
buying and decision-making power, but they lived healthy lives with other
relatives they loved, here in the United States and all over the world. No,
they didnt need to pick up someone at the local art exhibit to feel human
warmth or have breakfast at expensive Manhattan restaurants with their
girlfriends to feel loved.
I admit that Sex and the City is the only illegal sex
I am going to have, yet I also realize that it satisfies the box fixation of
baby boomers such as myself. Sex and the City allows me to continue
living my life through boxes: washers, dryers, microwave ovens, TVs, toaster
ovens, computers, movie screens. I enjoy the intimate lives of other women
while lying on my own box springs.
Gabriella Gutiérrez y Muhs, a Latina poet and academic,
is assistant professor of foreign languages at Seattle University.
National Catholic Reporter, November 16,
2001
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